he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
