I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
