Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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