using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
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My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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