Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
