she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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