i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
