WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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