im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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