I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
