I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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