i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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