Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It was confusing and full of hummus
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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