i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
