yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I cut my penus on the lid.
the day after is always just damage control
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
