i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
