"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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