imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
