it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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