I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
