quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
