Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
