So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
