Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
