There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
a search helicopter?!
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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