if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize