he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize