Soap is not a condiment
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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