brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
