She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i barfeds in our rink
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
