If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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