sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
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Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
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It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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