i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
