the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
