i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
