Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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