new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
