Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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