It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
should my penis look like a turkey
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
