He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
