What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
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My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
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Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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