Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
