Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
