with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize