I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I have post one night stand depression
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
