even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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