**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
