There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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