I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
