so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
