i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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