I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
