I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
