i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
