he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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