If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
