I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
