at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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