She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize
