Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
