woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
